Does your student feel loved? Does he sense your unconditional affection and support? Although we may think we're showing love, many times students fail to feel loved because we don't know their true love languages. According to the best-selling book The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, children sense love in five basic ways: words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Do you know which of these love languages speaks loudest to your student's heart?
Determining your student's love language will enable you to achieve family closeness and provide a solid emotional foundation for your child while distance learning through Ignite Christian Academy. One simple test you can use to find your student's love language is to ask your child this question:
If I was gone on vacation for several weeks, what would you like me to do when I returned home?
– Tell you how much I missed you (words of affirmation).
– Bring a gift back for you (gift giving).
– Spend the day together (quality time).
– Make your favorite meal for supper (acts of service).
– Give you a big hug and kiss (physical touch).
Although your student may say he would like you to do all of these, ask him to pick out the one action he thinks is most important. This will allow you to pinpoint his particular love language and enable you to communicate your love to him more effectively.
What are some practical ways of meeting your distance learning student's need for love? Depending on your child's particular love language, you might do the following:
Words of Affirmation
– Mean what you say. (No flattery allowed.)
– Write encouraging comments like "great job" on daily papers.
– Hide "I love you" notes in assignments.
– Offer sincere compliments when he demonstrates positive character qualities.
– Be polite and use "please" and "thank you" liberally.
– Praise him verbally as often as you can for both his efforts and successes in school.
– Pray aloud with him daily and ask for God's blessing on his life.
Gift Giving
– Gifts don't need to be expensive, just thoughtful and age appropriate.
– Purchase items (favorite candy bar, coloring book, etc.) from dollar-value stores to use as daily rewards on schoolwork.
– Choose a gift or plan an activity he has been wanting and give it as a reward for a successful school year.
– Create a surprise love basket. Each week, fill the basket with educational items like art supplies, an educational computer game, a new reference book, a new notebook, or other study items.
– Make homemade gifts. These gifts may even spark an interest in carpentry, sewing, photography, gardening, and other life skills.
Quality Time
– Provided undivided attention. (No multi-tasking allowed.)
– Cherish learning together. Don't hurry through school lessons.
– Take all the time necessary to work through questions he doesn't understand.
– Plan an individual field trip covering one of his favorite subjects.
– Plan a regular get-together once a month to do something fun.
– Watch a movie, play a board game, or read a book together.
– Play a seasonal sports activity together for physical education class.
– Work together on a hobby he enjoys.
Acts of Service
– Be creative. Go beyond the normal duties.
– Help him paint and redecorate his room.
– Plan a special party or activity for his homeschool friends.
– Wash and wax his car.
– Volunteer to help in his Sunday school class or youth group at church.
Physical Touch
– Give kisses and hugs without measure!
– Cuddle in a chair while you share a book.
– Give a backrub while he is studying at the computer or the table.
– Give a pedicure or manicure as you study lessons on health.
Most importantly, don't assume you are communicating love effectively simply because you distance learn. Just as students learn academics in a variety of ways, they also feel love from their parents differently. If you want your students to remember their distance learning days as ones filled with love, monitor their hearts through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, apply large amounts of God's agape love, and communicate in the love language he understands best!
Share your thoughts on the five love languages. Do you know what your student's love language is?